Jika Anda tidak takut pada badut sekarang, Anda akan segera sembuh. Banyak orang menganggap badut itu menyeramkan, jika tidak benar-benar menakutkan, tetapi bukan hanya wajah yang dicat dengan bibir raksasa yang membuat orang merinding.

Mereka adalah ketakutan umum bersama dengan kematian, jarum suntik, dan berbicara di depan umum. Apa yang kebanyakan orang tidak lakukan Ketahuilah bahwa ketakutan terhadap badut sebenarnya adalah fobia nyata dengan gejala fisik dan mental yang berpotensi merugikan. Sisi baiknya, lihat bagaimana menjadi badut membantu pria ini mengatasi kecemasan sosialnya..


Mengapa Orang Takut pada Badut?
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Apa itu coulrophobia?.

Coulrophobia adalah sebutan resmi untuk fobia badut. Fobia juga dikenal sebagai ketakutan intens yang memengaruhi perilaku dan dalam beberapa kasus, kehidupan sehari-hari. Bagi mereka yang takut dengan badut, peristiwa tertentu yang mungkin dianggap menyenangkan bagi banyak orang seperti sirkus dan karnaval, dapat memicu kecemasan. Beberapa gejala populer mungkin berupa peningkatan detak jantung, mual, gemetar, berkeringat, dan kesulitan bernapas. Pelajari lebih lanjut tentang fobia lain yang mungkin tidak Anda ketahui ada..


Apa yang menyebabkan ketakutan pada badut?.

Profesi menjadi badut memiliki sejarah yang panjang dan agak kotor; sesuatu yang menyerupai bentuknya saat ini berasal dari pelawak istana kerajaan di abad pertengahan, yang tujuannya adalah untuk menghibur raja atau ratu, sering kali mencela penguasa dalam prosesnya. Namun, versi paling kuno dari sosok mirip badut dapat ditemukan dalam budaya Mesir kuno, China, Amerika Asli, dan Yunani.Jangan lewatkan cerita seram dari tempat paling berhantu di seluruh dunia ini..

Evolusi berikutnya dari badut datang dalam bentuk harlequin atau zanni, pokok dari teater Italia. Badut adalah seorang penghibur, tetapi tidak selalu ramah keluarga; dia akan sering kasar dan vulgar, menjadi orang yang ingin berikan ke dalam kejahatan dan kerusakan. Artikel Smithsonian tahun 2013 membahas sedikit tentang peran tidak bermoral badut:.

“Tapi badut selalu memiliki sisi gelap,” kata David Kiser, direktur bakat untuk Ringling Bros. dan Barnum & Bailey Circus. “Bagaimanapun, ini adalah karakter yang mencerminkan cermin rumah funhouse di masyarakat; akademisi mencatat bahwa komedi mereka adalah sering kali berasal dari nafsu makan yang rakus akan makanan, seks, dan minuman, dan perilaku manik mereka. ".

Pada tahun 1800-an, konsep badut modern seperti yang kita kenal mulai terbentuk, bergeser dari yang kasar dan menyempurnakan daya tariknya bagi anak-anak. Orang bodoh mereka akan menjadi slapstick bukan sakit, tetapi asal-usul mereka tetap ada. Kenakalan mereka mulai mendapatkan kembali nadanya yang menyeramkan berkat pop budaya pokok seperti Killer Clowns from Outer Space (1988), It (novel, miniseri, dan film 2017), dan Clown (2014). Berikut ini lebih banyak film paling menakutkan sepanjang masa..

Dan peristiwa kehidupan nyata memainkan peran besar dalam ketakutan yang nyata, bahkan di luar histeria yang meluas tentang badut pembunuh di musim panas 2016. Bagian dari inspirasi untuk Pennywise adalah pembunuh berantai John Wayne Gacy, yang diberi julukan "Badut Pembunuh" untuk penggunaan kostum badut dalam pembunuhannya..

Berapa banyak orang yang menderita coulrophobic?.

Sebuah penelitian dari Universitas Sheffield menemukan bahwa sebagian besar anak berusia empat hingga 16 tahun dalam penelitian terhadap 250 badut tidak menyukai. "Kami menemukan bahwa badut secara universal tidak disukai oleh anak-anak," kata Penny Curtis, salah satu peneliti utama studi tersebut, melalui BBC. mereka cukup menakutkan dan tidak bisa diketahui. ".

Studi lain yang dilakukan oleh Chapman University mengungkapkan bahwa sekitar 7,8% orang dewasa Amerika sebenarnya takut pada badut, jadi jangan khawatir, berapa pun usia Anda, Anda tidak sendirian dalam ketakutan tersebut. Selanjutnya, baca tentang apa manfaat menonton film horor terhadap tubuhmu.. (Sam Benson Smith dan Emma Taubenfeld -   READER DIGEST)

Sumber.



The pandemic is full of uncertainties, but one thing is for certain: outdoor dining can't last forever. So what happens when it gets colder?

Adjusting to the new normal
No one was prepared for a pandemic, least of all the tourism and restaurant industries. COVID-19 forced everyone to revaluate every aspect of life as we know it and make the most of what we had (or suddenly didn’t have). Safety and distance was at the forefront of America’s mind as reopening and stay-at-home orders eased. The new normal came slowly, with delivery and takeout taking center stage until the warmer months of the year.

As of mid-summer, many cities across the country are allowing outdoor dining (and some indoor). On a state-by-state basis, restaurants could open as soon as they implemented enhanced cleaning measures and proved they had the space to allow social distancing.

The warmth of the summer months allowed for beautiful, fairy-light-lit patios and closed-off streets full of tables and chairs. But the summer can’t last forever, so what happens when the cold returns for much of the country and streets have to open up again? Will it be safe to return to indoor dining? Or is America in for a wave of eating-in and staying-in once more? Wherever you’re dining, here’s what not to do at reopened restaurants. 

carterdayne/Getty Images



The safety of outdoor dining
How safe is outdoor dining really? As a customer, there are some important dos and don’ts for avoiding germs and lowering your risk. The current laws demand both patrons and staff wear masks at all times (excluding eating and drinking) and are spaced/seated at least six feet apart from other parties. Restaurants must amp up cleaning and sanitation measures for common spaces and disinfect all areas/utensils between each party.

The CDC guidelines also recommend limiting contact with high touch areas, such as menus, utensils, card reachers, and door handles. As long as these measures are in place, the CDC deems the activity one step up from “lowest risk,” in the “more risk” or second-tier category. Take a peek at the public places doctors won’t go during the coronavirus pandemic.

Sustainability of the restaurant industry right now
Many restaurants rushed to reopen as soon as they could to try and recoup severe losses from earlier in the year. A National Restaurant Association survey found that the restaurant industry was down more than $120 billion dollars during just the first three months of the pandemic, with dramatic decreases in revenue and business even after reopening. Current estimates are looking at that number to double by the end of the year. Speaking of losses, here’s how much COVID-19 has cost the restaurant industry.

Outdoor dining has limited most restaurants to anywhere from 50 percent to 75 percent capacity, with many at lower, unsustainable numbers or unable to reopen at all. Further, regulations about alcohol sales, staff safety and wellness checks, and the threat of closure over regulation breaks have left many restaurants unable to stay afloat. Crucially for the restaurant industry, the pandemic entirely changed how Americas spend their money.

“Whether restaurants can survive at a lower capacity depends on a multitude of factors,” according to Andrew Cromer, a restaurant attorney at AXS Law Group. “Rent, overhead, and how successful you’re able to leverage delivery to win on the smallest of margins.” While the number of customers is one factor of the equation, the other costs of owning and running a restaurant also add up, including food waste, utilities, and worker’s health insurance.
Uncertain future


While it’s painful to remember the weeks and months of lockdowns and quarantine restrictions, another wave of similar circumstances is not out of the question. Many health experts worry about the upcoming months with workplaces and schools reopening. Another wave of the virus would send the barely-hanging-on restaurant industry back into a tail spin if they are not prepared for the possibility of shifting yet again to a delivery and takeout model of business. For many, this would be unsustainable and force closure. On that note, your favorite restaurants may be looking pretty different when you see them again.
The shift to indoor dining

While those living in colder states are beginning to worry about the impending winter months, some states have already been facing the opposite problem. Restaurants in states with extremely hot summer temperatures have largely been unable to have outdoor dining.

“Many states who enjoy temperate climate in the summers are benefitting from the ability to host patrons with outdoor dining,” notes Elizabeth Blau, a restaurateur and owner of Honey Salt restaurant in Las Vegas,”[Yet] in some of the warmer western and southern states, where temps can average 115 degrees, summer outdoor dining is currently impossible.” In some of these states, indoor dining has been permitted with strict regulations on the distance between tables, air quality/ventilation, and other safety measures.

Winter is coming
What does this mean when the extreme cold and snow hits? That’s a difficult question to answer. Many regions are already allowing indoor dining with decreased capacity. However, in places like New York City, lawmakers are not budging. Restaurants are not allowed to reopen indoor dining despite numerous complaints and lawsuits fighting in opposition. Restaurants are often among the first reopened places to be closed again when things take a turn for the worse.

What can restaurant owners do?
“Restaurants in colder climates face a daunting task of keeping the lights on while maintaining their customers’ health and safety,” reminds Cromer. “Restaurants should prepare for the worst-case scenario by aligning with delivery companies…additionally, [they should] be prepared for any operation changes inside the restaurant to make third party delivery flow more seamless for your restaurant.” (Also, remind yourself how to safely enjoy takeout.)

In the restaurant business, it’s largely a margins game. Many restaurants were already operating on small margins pre-COVID-19, with alcohol sales and customer volume/turnaround as heavy-hitters. In this new world of decreased capacity, many restaurants who fall under 50 percent capacity will decide to close their doors or return to methods of delivery and take-out to try and survive, though over 31 percent of restaurants reported they do not have the ability to survive another year under these circumstances.
What will restaurants do?

Some methods to continue outdoor dining into the colder season have been seen around the world before. For example, heat lamps, single-use blankets, and individual fire pits. These short-term fixes can help delay the inevitable, though harsh wind, sleet, and snow are tough to beat. The outside world is now harsher than ever—make sure you’re cleaning these items once you return home.

Mark Wasilefsky, the Head of Restaurant Franchise Financial Group at TD Bank, notes that “QSRs will likely be fine during the colder months because of their drive-through, delivery, and in-store pickup capabilities. Other restaurants, like fast-casual and fine dining establishments, will need to find creative ways to offset permitted capacities that are currently as low as 25 percent.”

Wasilefsky has a few recommendations for restaurateurs in this strange time:

  • Continue to take advantage of government programs, including the U.S. Small Business Administration’s Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) and Economic Injury Disaster Loans (EIDL), and private sector programs to help maximize liquidity.
  • Limit menus to more profitable items that require less inventory and reduce waste
  • Establish a strong delivery menu and program. Leverage existing kitchen set skills to provide delivery-focused products (food that is tasty, has variety, and travels well).
  • Move away from reliance on alcohol sales, allowing for BYOB where permitted.

What customers can do to save their favorite restaurants
No one knows what the future will hold in the course of the virus and its progression. Estimates are almost impossible when it comes to an unprecedented pandemic. Restaurants know that providing a needed service in a safe environment is what their clientele are searching for right now. On the service side, here’s what waiters want you know to about outdoor dining.

Those who love restaurants know how important their contribution is to helping restaurants stay open. Collectively, we need to do the best we can now to assure a strong economic future for restaurants, cafes, and eating establishments big and small.

At the end of the day, it’s important to patronize your local restaurants (in some way) if you’re able. It’s up to us to help keep the lights on both figuratively and literally. On the one hand, it’s understandable and cautious to not dine indoors or out. On the other, the CDC has outlined takeout and delivery as “low risk” options. At this time, it’s about doing whatever we can (safely!) to help bolster individual, national, and global economies. Here’s how to support small businesses right now.

The fate of indoor and outdoor dining are both up in the air, but all is not lost. Options like grocery delivery, food delivery/takeout, and making meals at home will always be there. Next up, take a look at how much money coronavirus has cost the world so far.

Sources:

  • National Restaurant Association. Restaurant Sales Remain Well Below Normal Levels…
  • CDC. Considerations for Restaurants & Bars.
  • Mark Wasilefsky. Head, Restaurant Franchise Finance Group at TD Bank.
  • Andrew Cromer. Restaurant Industry Attorney at AXS Law Group.
  • Elizabeth Blau. Restauranteur, CEO of Blau & Associates, and owner of Honey Salt in Las Vegas.


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Article Source:  READER DIGEST




Why Aren’t Fat People Allowed to Be Trendy?

Recently, I saw an image of two women walking down the street. Both of them were wearing a slightly different iteration of the same outfit: high-waisted, knee-length shorts with graphic T-shirts tucked in, and a pair of chunky sneakers.

The look is trendy; a perfect encapsulation of the pared-down, vintage-inspired aesthetic embraced by GenZ TikTok influencers who seem to take style cues from teen movies released 25 years before they were born. It is, as the kids say, a vibe. The women’s heads are cropped from the photo, leaving them unidentifiable. Based on the trendiness of the clothing alone, I’d have mistaken them for a pair of off-duty models, were it not for one key physical characteristic: the women in the picture are fat.


Fashion is, and always has been, about thin bodies
Image source INSTYLE COM

A tweet making fun of these women has 100K likes,” said writer Rayne Fisher Quann alongside a retweet of the photo. “But I swear to god if Bella Hadid wore this exact outfit it would be on a million ‘‘80s casual inspo’ Pinterest boards because, as always, fashion is judged exclusively by the bodies that wear it.”

Quann’s tweet went viral, with over a half a million people cosigning the idea that what’s considered fashionable, trendy clothing for thin people is rarely acceptable for fat people. Of course, any fat person with even a passing interest in fashion knows this has always been the case.

Thin women in tight clothes are empowered for reclaiming their sexuality; fat women in tight clothing are criticized for being overly sexual. Thin women in baggy athleisure are celebrated for embracing the low key; fat women in baggy athleisure are chided for being sloppy and frumpy. Thin women in oversized blazers are adored for playing with androgyny; fat women in oversized blazers are criticized for rejecting femininity.

And, when I saw that image and that tweet, I was reminded of something else every fat fashion-loving person knows to be true: as far as we think we’ve come with regards to size inclusivity, the goalposts always move according to the whims of the thin and wealthy.

What’s considered “trendy,” whether a bandage

The voluminous high-waisted denim shorts I was forced to pull from the Misses section at Sears are the height of cool-girl fashion. The wolf moon T-shirt is no longer the uniform of the kid who had to shop at a thrift store; it’s the Bushwick e-girl’s oversized shirt dress, worn for a selfie squatting next to her parents’ swimming pool.

Playing with class aesthetics isn’t new for fashion, but it’s inextricably linked with the fatphobia that pervades the industry. Clothing once associated with poorness — chunky shoes, “unflattering” cuts, T-shirts that look like they were purchased at a boardwalk gift shop, for example — can eventually receive fashion’s stamp of approval, along with a few subtle detail changes that “elevate” the look.

However, the reclamation of a previously ridiculed or marginalized aesthetic only works if you put it on an aspirational body; and in fashion, aspiration equals thin.

The same clothing on a fat body shatters the idea that the look could be aspirational, leaving the person wearing the clothing subject to criticism, no matter how trendy the physical clothing she’s wearing might be.

RELATED: Here's What It's Like to Work In An Industry That Kind of Hates You

Beyond that, fat people still have a million barriers to entry when it comes to participating in a trend. Even if Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner put on the same outfit as the women in the tweet, thus deeming the look aspirational and trendy, fat people can’t recreate them without opening themselves up to ridicule.

For one, there’s the implicit bias associated with what fat bodies look like in clothes versus thin ones; after all, most of us were groomed to believe that a body with curves, rolls, and contours simply doesn’t look as good in clothing as a body with none. It’s why many of the critical comments on the original tweet revolved around the women’s shirts being tucked in; god forbid their stomachs to inhabit those shorts in a meaningful way.

Then there’s the matter of access. Even if bulky cargo shorts and graphic tees are trending now, there’s a good chance it will take months before any of those trending looks are updated with modern details and hit the market in sizes over 18, an issue that plus shoppers encounter on a regular basis.

“Many brands will launch ‘plus’ and create a collection that doesn’t reflect the styles of their straight-size customer,” says plus fashion influencer and writer Lydia Okello. “Dull colorways, basic fits and a very small selection. If plus customers were treated with the same variation of personal style as straight size folks, we’d see those pieces start to sell. There have been trend pieces that I end up waiting a year to get in my size — at that point I feel disheartened because I wanted it from the get-go when my thin friends could buy it. ”

Finally, there’s the idea that dressing to trends and “making a statement” are something you do to be visible — a desire that many women, and fat women in particular, are told not to have. I asked a group of fat women what other trends they will not participate in for this reason, and many answered,

“All of them.” It makes sense; some of us are so deeply wounded by the no-win scenarios fashion presents to us, time and time again, and would rather just avoid the feeling of failure completely. Many described the choice to avoid trendy clothing as an avoidance of the criticism they assume it will bring. One woman even said that she avoids certain styles because she’s afraid people will think she’s delusional about her weight.

Historically, size inclusion in fashion moves at a glacial pace. Even for fat women, changing the lens through which we view our bodies takes a momentous amount of unlearning and relearning. It’s hard to imagine a world in which people look at a photo like the one in that tweet and see it the same way they would if it were an ultra-thin model. Still, it’s worthwhile asking how we get there — and reminding ourselves it has absolutely nothing to do with our clothes.(Written by Amanda Richards)


Article source : INSTYLE COM



MRT High-Tech Transportation with Congestion Solutions - Indonesia is the largest archipelago in the world with more than 17,000 islands scattered from Sabang to Merauke. Many of these islands are separated by the sea which covers the territory of Indonesia. Indonesia is also known for being rich in biodiversity, culture, religion, ethnicity, and language. With so much diversity, Indonesia is often referred to as the Land of Heaven by both foreigners and natives.

As an archipelago colored with waters and mountains, Indonesia's need for transportation has become a necessity. In this case, the government continues to make efforts to connect the Indonesian islands by building transportation infrastructure, both land, air, and sea routes as access to creating connectivity between islands in Indonesia.


Image source IDX Channel
Image source IDX Channel


The high population mobility in various Indonesian islands, especially in urban communities, has made the transportation system in Indonesia a vital infrastructure. To meet all the needs of the community, people cannot be separated from private vehicles or public transportation to help all Indonesians achieve their goals, such as working, shopping, and so on. Transportation in Indonesia itself will continue to increase in line with the growth in demand for goods and services. The demand for transportation services will also increase the population in Indonesia.

Along with the development of the industrialization era, transportation has experienced rapid development. In its development, transportation from time to time continues to move slowly. In fact, it continues to evolve little by little. Moreover, technology also plays a role in the development of transportation in Indonesia. Various transportation innovations from time to time continue to experience changes for the better.

Starting from the application of steam engines for rail and marine transportation, accompanied by the invention of the engine with internal combustion. The development of the mode of transportation was also followed by gas turbine engines that were turned into turbojets for aircraft. Meanwhile, in the marine transportation sector, the discovery of the development of Nuli fuel for submarines.


In the last 5 years, the Government of Indonesia has developed modern means of transportation in Indonesia to support the activities of its residents, especially in the capital city. Now there is transportation by combining modern technology, namely the MRT (Mass Rapid Transit). The existence of the MRT is expected to provide considerable benefits for economic growth, especially in the capital city of Jakarta.

There are several benefits from the presence of the MRT. One of the benefits is the reduced density of vehicles on the road because the MRT is expected to divert people using private vehicles to mass transportation. MRT also contributes in increasing public transport capacity. MRT transport capacity can reach thousands of passengers for 1 MRT. The existence of the MRT can also reduce travel time between regions and increase population mobility.

This reduction in travel time will increase the mobility of Jakarta residents. The increased mobility of city residents has an impact on the improvement and growth of the city's economy, and improves the quality of life for city residents. For the environment, the presence of the MRT also has a positive impact. The environmental impact of the MRT is 0.7 percent of the total CO2 emissions, which is around 93,663 tons per year will be reduced.

With the emergence of high-tech transportation, namely the MRT, it is hoped that it will be a solution to the high mobility of the population in Indonesia. To find out various information about modern transportation in Indonesia, you can visit the Ministry of Transportation's Website & Social Media: (Written by Ridhwan)


Article Source  SMARTPEDIA




A person who experiences physical pain such as injury or other illness will be labeled as "sick" by the common people. Phrases like 'Get well soon, huh!' Must be commonplace. Yes, they were sick and looked like sick people.

Unlike people with mental disorders, they must immediately be considered as crazy. There are still many who think that when someone suffers from this disorder, it does not have to be cured through a psychiatrist or psychologist, but it is enough to get closer to God. There is nothing wrong with praying, but that does not mean that when sick, humans only put their trust in without doing any effort. That's not what God taught you, right? 

Image source REPUBLIKA CO ID


Various Types of Mental Disorders
The public's lack of understanding of the types of psychiatric disorders can be one of the reasons ordinary people consider this disorder to be crazy. There are many types of these disorders and they can be categorized according to specific types. The list below is for knowledge only to know more about this disorder. If you feel you have a symptom, don't make a unilateral diagnosis, go to a psychiatrist or psychologist and consult for the best solution.

Anxiety Disorders
The first disorder is an anxiety disorder. Symptoms usually experienced by sufferers are a response of fear, panic, sweating and even a faster heart rate when faced with certain situations. This becomes a disorder when these symptoms cannot be controlled to interfere with daily activities.

In addition to the above, anxiety disorders can also take the form of a phobia to a condition, such as social anxiety disorder or panic disorder. There are people who have a phobia of specific things, such as a phobia of narrow spaces, blood, or heights.

Affective or Mood Disorders
This type of disturbance is experienced by someone who is experiencing constant sadness or too much joy for a period of time. It could also be when there are alternating feelings of excessive joy and sadness. Bipolor and depression are the most common examples of this condition. Kyclomytic disorders, namely changes in emotions from happy to sad in light doses are also included in conditions of affective or mood disorders.

Personality Disorders
This type of disorder as the name implies is related to the personality of the sufferer. People who have an extreme and rigid character who are usually different from the norms in society are the symptoms experienced by sufferers of this disorder. An example is someone who is antisocial or paranoid.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
For those of you who have watched the movie Split, you will know that one of the main character personalities played by James McAvoy suffers from OCD.

This disturbance makes the sufferer's mind filled with fear or disturbing things that make them feel they have to do something over and over again. In the movie Split, it can be seen that personality cannot see things that are not neatly arranged. Another condition is people who always wash their hands for fear of overdoing it with germs. Nowadays, washing hands is important but that doesn't mean you have to wash your hands every time.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
As the name suggests, PTSD occurs after a patient experiences something traumatic. This disorder can arise, for example, when someone experiences the sudden death of a loved one, natural disasters, or sexual harassment.

During this pandemic, circumstances that have never been experienced and various situations that suddenly change can cause various psychological symptoms. Halodoc is a platform that can be used for consultation. consultation with the best psychologist can be done only from home without the need to come to the practice location. If you need a prescription, Halodoc is also ready to deliver it directly to the patient's house.

Family and the surrounding environment is one of the fortresses so that mental disorders do not occur. Understanding the people closest to this disorder which is a disease and can be cured is important so that sufferers do not feel more burdened. The belief that mental illness is the same as the physical illness that requires a doctor is also important. (Muhammad Rifqi Saifudin)




Article Source  CORETAN RIFQI




Although it's painful to see our loved ones be self-destructive, detaching allows us to enjoy our life despite another person's problems and behavior.

Attachment and caring are normal. It's healthy to get attached to people we love and care about, but codependent attachment causes us pain and problems in relationships. We become overly attached-not because we love it so much but because we need it so much.

We need someone to be and act a certain way so that you can feel okay. Managing and controlling, reacting and worrying, and obsessing are counterproductive codependent patterns. We can become over-involved. The antidote is to detach and let go. 


Image from Shuttershock

What is Detaching?

Detachment implies neutrality. Detaching is a way of separating the unhealthy emotional glue that keeps us fused in a codependent relationship.

What Detaching Isn't

It doesn't mean physical withdrawal. Nor is detaching emotional withdrawal, such as being aloof, disinterested, emotionally shut down, or ignoring someone.

Detaching doesn't mean neglecting family responsibilities or leaving someone. Although physical space or separation may be useful as a means of setting boundaries and centering ourselves, this is not what detaching means. For example, some people decide to not have contact with someone, because the relationship is too painful.

Physical proximity is irrelevant. In fact, some divorced couples are more emotionally attached and reactive to one another than most married couples. Someone living far away can push our buttons in a phone call so that we dwell on the conversation for days - or even if there wasn't one! Detaching is about refocusing and taking charge of ourselves.

Key ingredients of detaching

It involves letting go of our expectations and entanglements with other peoples' problems and affairs. We stop reacting to things they say and do and obsessing and worrying about things. We take control of our feelings and thoughts and mind our own business. It doesn't take away our feelings and concerns, but channels them in a healthy manner. In practice, it's more compassionate and loving than a codependent attachment.

Detaching involves four key concepts:

  • Having appropriate boundaries
  • Accepting reality
  • Being in the present, not the past or future
  • Taking responsibility for our feelings and needs

Detaching is letting go with love

When first learning to detach, people often turn off their feelings or use walls of silence to refrain from codependent behavior, but with persistence, understanding, and compassion, they're able to let go with love.

Gradually, rather than be invested in changing or controlling others, we can be compassionate and encourage them. We have no need to argue or persuade others, but instead are curious of differing points of view. This shows respect and honors boundaries and separateness.

Rather than manipulate people to be like us, we risk being authentic.For example, we can say, "I feel sad when I see you depressed." Instead of trying to change someone's need for space or silence, we enjoy our time alone or with someone else. This may sound impossible, but the pay-off is rewarding.

Are You Over-Involved?

When we worry, it's a sign that we're attached to a certain outcome. When we're frustrated with someone, it's because we're attached to them being different from who they are and accepting their flaws. When we're giving unsolicited advice, we're crossing a boundary and assuming a superior position. We all do this sometimes, but codependents do it excessively. Instead of two people with separate minds and independent feelings, the boundaries are blurred. Does this apply to you?

  • Do your moods and happiness depend on someone else?
  • Do you have strong emotional reactions to someone's opinions, thoughts, feelings, and judgments?
  • Do you spend time worrying and thinking about someone else's problems?
  • Do you analyze someone's motives or feelings?
  • Do you think about what someone else is doing, not doing, thinking, or feeling?
  • Do you neglect your career, hobbies, activities, or friends due to a relationship?
  • Do you drop other activities if someone else won't join you or disapproves?
  • Do you please someone because you're afraid of rejection?
  • Do you become anxious doing things alone?

When we're over-involved, we're myopic. Others become extensions of us. We try to control their opinions, feelings, and actions to get what we need and feel okay. We try to manage them to avoid witnessing their suffering. We try to impress and please them. We try to persuade them to agree with us or do what we want. Then, we react with hurt or anger when they want won't. If you relate, learn why detaching is helpful.

Benefits of Detaching

Letting go reaps us profound benefits, not only in the relationship, but in personal growth, inner peace, and all areas of our life.

  • We learn to love
  • We gain peace, freedom, and power
  • We gain time for ourselves
  • We become more resilient to loss
  • We learn independence and self-responsibility
  • We encourage that in others
We're responsible for our thoughts, feelings, actions, and the consequences of those actions. Other people are responsible for theirs. Cheering someone up occasionally or giving him or her more attention is not codependent. A benefit of a good marriage is that spouses nurture one another when one is troubled, but it supports, not codependent caretaking, and it's reciprocal.

In contrast, when we consistently try to change others' moods or solve their problems, we're becoming their caretaker based upon the erroneous belief that we can control what's causing their pain. We're assuming responsibilities that are theirs, not ours.

Sometimes codependent couples unconsciously agree that one spouse has the obligation to make the other happy. That is an impossible task and leads to mutual unhappiness, anger, and resentment. The cheerleader is always failing and frustrated, and the recipient feels shame and resentment. Whatever we try won't be quite right or enough.

How to Detach

Detaching starts with understanding, but it takes time for the heart to really accept that ultimately we're powerless over others and that our efforts to change someone are unhelpful and possibly detrimental to us, the other person, and the relationship. Take these steps to practice detaching:

  • Ask yourself if you're in reality or denial.
  • Examine whether your expectations of the other person reasonable.
  • Honestly examine your motivations. Are they self-serving?
  • Practice allowing and accepting reality in all aspects of your life.
  • Allow your feelings.
  • Practice meditation to be less attached and reactive.
  • Practice compassion for the other person.
  • Be authentic. Make "I" statements about your genuine feelings rather than offer advice.
  • Attend Al-Anon or CoDA meetings.
If you answered "yes" to several of the above questions, consider learning more about detaching and get support. Detaching can be very difficult to do on your own. (Written by ©DarleneLancer 2020)



Article Source:  EzineArticles.com



If you are looking for a life partner and not having much luck you may be wondering if there is anything you are doing, or not doing that could have an impact on your success rate. Here are some tips that can help you improve your dating journey.

Securing a life partner and simple in the same sentence? Yes, it really is possible, simple even, with the right guidance and having our team supporting you all the way. Here are our best tips curated by our relationship experts for you to consider when thinking about securing the right life partner, and ensuring it has staying power.

If you are looking for a life partner and not having much luck you may be wondering if there is anything you are doing, or not doing that could have an impact on your success rate. Here are some tips that can help you improve your dating journey and put you on track to a healthy, happy, long-lasting relationship. 


Image source psiloveyou
Image source psiloveyou


Have a realistic checklist. Many people have extensive lists of what qualities their ideal partner has to have, however, if you focus solely on your checklist you may miss out on an opportunity to meet someone great. One of the key traits of a great relationship is emotional compatibility; how does the person make you feel is a lot more important than what he/she looks like on paper.

Work out what your core values are. Your partner should live and breathe life in a similar way to you and your core values and goals for the future must align. For example, if one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, it is likely to be a deal-breaker.

Look for someone who makes you laugh. A sense of humour can help overcome many of life’s challenges. Keep an eye out for that person that can make you smile, even when you don’t feel like it.

Keep an open mind, especially in the early stages of dating. A common mistake that men and women make early in dating, is overthinking things.

By date two or three, you won’t know if he/she could be your lifelong partner, but you will know if this is a person you feel comfortable with and have a natural fit with. Do they make you laugh? Do you feel at ease in their company? Does your sense of humor align? That natural fit is the must-have foundation of any good, lasting relationship, more so than the fact that someone is very attractive, successful in work, or has a lifestyle that seems exciting and fun.

Find someone you can talk to. As time passes, this quality is more important than looks, money, or social status. If you can’t talk to your partner and find support in them when you need it, it’s not going to be a good match.

Don’t keep waiting for something to change. People will tell you exactly who they are, so listen carefully. If someone says they’re usually in a bad mood or don’t know how to be monogamous, don’t assume you can change them.

The longer you stay in a situation that doesn’t align with your personal values, the more you stop yourself from having the opportunity to meet the right person. Be clear with yourself about what you will and won’t accept and know what your deal-breakers are.

And finally – choose someone you can be yourself around. Being in a relationship where you can be 100 percent yourself is a wonderful and liberating feeling. You should feel safe, comfortable, and your authentic self around your partner, without sacrificing any of your core values (and your partner should feel the same!).

At Maclynn International, as matchmaking experts, we work hard to find you a partner who will align with you and your goals. We vet our members and profile them using psychological principals to assess compatibility before an introduction goes ahead. Contact us today to begin your journey to an emotionally rewarding and committed relationship (Written by Gina Yannotta, Maclynn Chief Operating Officer, New York City).



Gina Yannotta
Gina Yannotta
 
More about the author

Gina Yannotta
is Head Matchmaker & Chief Operating Officer at Maclynn International's New York office. Gina’s unyielding passion for the field, in combination with her extensive experience in matchmaking, has allowed her to orchestrate successful and everlasting relationships amongst her clients.

Tasked with running the Manhattan office, Gina utilizes her interpersonal skills and relationship experts to make a splash in the matchmaking pool, personally connecting her clients with their ultimate match while simultaneously taking advantage of the endless possibilities that NYC offers to its client-base


Article Source maclynninternati.



You think you know what Halloween is all about, but you might not—not really. After all, it wasn't always about candy and pumpkins.

What is Halloween?
It’s a simple question that you’ve been able to answer since you were old enough to go trick-or-treating…or is it? Most people don’t know the true origins of this now-commercialized holiday.

As it exists today in the United States, Halloween is a day when we can all indulge in the darker, creepier side of life and loads of candy. It’s a lot of fun, a little spooky, and anything but serious. But historically, the holiday was religious in nature and extremely significant to the culture of the people who celebrated it.

Before you deck your halls with ghosts, goblins, and assorted ghoulish decorations this year, find out how America’s favorite holiday got started.

Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock



The Celtic tradition

Halloween can be traced back to an ancient Celtic holiday called Samhain, celebrated in what is now Ireland, Scotland, and England, as well as parts of Northern Europe.

Starting around 2,000 years ago, the three-day pagan religious festival began around October 31 to honor the harvest and prepare for the “the dark half of the year,” according to History.com. The ancient Celts believed that on this day, the line between the living and the spiritual realm was blurred—meaning that ghosts from beyond could visit the living and monsters could find their way into people’s houses.

Those celebrating aimed to ward off as much evil as possible. They held special rites to keep monsters, witches, and evil fairies at bay. They told tales about mythological heroes and the underworld. And they tried to protect themselves against evil. How? By dressing up as monsters so they wouldn’t be kidnapped or consumed by actual monsters. Speaking of terrifying tales, don’t miss the spookiest urban legends from each of the 50 states.

How the rituals evolved

Celtic priests (also known as Druids) started the holiday with a bonfire to welcome the spirits back to the world of the living. During this ritual, they burned crops and animals as sacrifices to the gods. They also focused on the temporary return of their loved ones. In fact, children would play games with the dead at their homes, and adults would hold conversations with them.

But it was the dark side of the holiday that inspired many of the Halloween traditions we embrace today, according to Smithsonian.com, as people tried to protect themselves against evil spirits “in search of mischief.”

For example, in addition to dressing up to disguise themselves to fool these spirits, people carried treats as bribes in case they were confronted by them. And they carried jack-o’-lanterns made out of turnips not only to light up darkness but also as another way to scare off these unsavory spirits. (It was much later that Irish immigrants swapped out the turnips for the now-ubiquitous pumpkins.) Check out these 14 spooky Halloween superstitions and how they came to haunt us.

How Christianity changed everything (sort of)

It’s no coincidence that a few Catholic holidays fall right around Halloween. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III moved the feast of All Martyrs’ Day from May 13 to November 1 and turned it into All Saints’ Day.

Then, in 1000 A.D., the Catholic Church added All Souls’ Day (which focuses on praying for the dead) on November 2. Why? To help further the transition from paganism to Catholicism. And it worked. All Souls’ Day embraced many of Samhain’s celebrations, including bonfires, parades, and costumes—though now people mainly dressed up as saints, angels, and devils. October 31 was subsequently called All Hallows’ Eve…and then Halloween.

When Halloween arrived in the United States

Halloween was a tough sell in early colonial America because of the new population’s strict religious beliefs, but it was more commonly celebrated in Maryland and the South. And as the Europeans mingled with the Native Americans, traditions evolved even further.

Halloween festivities meshed with autumn festivals and featured celebratory public events, singing and dancing, ghost stories, and pranks. But it wasn’t until the second half of the 19th century that Halloween really became popular in the United States. Why? Irish immigrants escaping the Potato Famine brought their ideas and traditions about Halloween along with them.


How Halloween became the frightfully fun holiday we know and love today

In this new whimsical context, Americans adopted the Celtic tradition of dressing up and transformed it into what we now know as trick-or-treating. By the 1930s, Halloween became almost completely secularized, while All Saints’ Day became more of a religious holiday. To this day, some devout people are strictly against celebrating the holiday as anything other than a religious day.

In the late 20th and early 21st centuries, Halloween became increasingly about commercialism and profits. In fact, Americans were expected to spend $9 billion on Halloween in 2018, according to the National Retail Federation, a number that continues to increase each year.

So how is Halloween celebrated these days? You can probably answer that question yourself: with costumes, parties, toys, and candy showing up in stores earlier and earlier every year. If you can’t get enough of Halloween, you need to see these 30 cheap DIY Halloween decorations for the spookiest holiday ever.

What Halloween looks like in other countries

It’s safe to say that Americans are Halloween-obsessed, but not everyone around the world is. How is Halloween celebrated elsewhere? In Canada and Ireland, the celebrations are similar, but in England, Halloween is generally not celebrated at all.

According to History.com, that was a result of the Protestant Reformation. Instead, the U.K. celebrates a completely unrelated holiday around this time (on November 5th, to be precise). Guy Fawkes Day, which revolves around the execution of an infamous traitor, features bonfires, burning effigies, and fireworks.

In Mexico, people celebrate Día de Los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. While it takes place right after Halloween, it is very different in tone and intent, says National Geographic. Yes, people do dress up as colorful skeletons and celebrate in the streets, but the point is to honor the dead and welcome their spirits back to Earth during this time, not to be fearful of them.

To celebrate, people also adorn the graves of their ancestors with decorations and offer food to let them know that they haven’t forgotten them. Here are some other ways Halloween is celebrated around the world (written by Taylor Markarian)


Article Source : READER DIGEST



Tag : Opinion - Asep Haryono | What's Kindness? - Powered by Blogger
Kindness starts with a thought...You can act kindly only when you think positively. It's an expression of your thought! You cannot fake it. It comes from the heart! The thought becomes your words. If you cannot speak kind words, better to be silent. Bhagavad Gita Ch 17, verse 15 emphasizes on austerity of speech.

You can be kind to someone if you already have a preconceived positive notion about that person or a thing but your kindness vanishes when you have a negative thought about the same person or thing.

A mother's love is the ultimate kindness. Everyone, pretty much experienced it. She is the symbolic epitome of kindness so we all can learn what kindness is. Kindness is love expressed without expecting anything in return.

Image source Forbes COM


If we can emulate that very same love to everyone around we would be in a wonderful world! Kindness is expressed in the same way whether it's directed towards an infant, toddler, adult or a senior but we often choose to be different with different people based on our own prejudices.

Often times, it can be seen that one can be kind to one's own child but not to a neighbor's child. One may be kind to their family, when one needs something from them but not when the family needs something from that one!

Kindness is helping when needed with what you can, when you can, even if it's just a smile, hug or listening. Others might be able to express their kindness in other ways, that's okay because it's neither a competition nor a standard. Kindness does not mean that you agree with others all the time. It means you agree to disagree, you agree to live & let live. People often confuse being nice with kindness.
You may read Friend From Long Ago

It's a like reputation and character. Reputation is others' perception of you while character is who you are. Being nice is based on how people see you and being kind is how you see yourself. Only when you're contented and happy you can express kindness. If you feel deficient in your life, that'll be expressed too..

Being kind could be construed as weakness and taken advantage of but a person of kindness forgives that too. Kindness is being gracious even in times of meanness.

A kind person is often thought of, in times of darkness. more often the absence is felt than the presence.

Why is kindness needed?

Scott Adams said, 'Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end'.

There are lots of people who are less fortunate with resources, health, both physical and mental and family. First, we need to count our blessings. Helen Keller quotes, 'I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no legs', only then you feel the empathy, compassion towards others and grateful for what you have!

What are some ways we can express kindness? There are several ways... Choose to add an additional coin while parking than required, someone can get the benefit. Drop the change for charity after shopping, fill in water in a big pot or lemonade in another pot outside the home for the unknown walkers on the street to quench their thirst, water the plants, feed the birds & animals, feed the hunger when you're out and when they approach you by getting a meal from a restaurant. Nothing that you do for others is insignificant.

Go ahead and do something good for others, what you can, when you can, with what you have, to bring a smile in that face. Do this with seniors, people in homes, terminally ill people, homeless and lonely people. You'll make a big difference in their life. They often need us to be silent and listen to them. Did you notice these two words have the same letters?

How can we be kind?

Kindness starts at home, be kind to your family members. You're where you are because of them. You parents, your siblings, relations, co-workers, subordinates and supervisors have all contributed in one way or the other.

One thing I learned from my mother is, 'Learn to look into the positive aspects of each one in your life and remember them forever. If you come across negative memories about others forget them instantly, only then kindness, compassion & benevolence will pour out'. 


She also said, 'Try not to judge anyone by their behavior, people are inherently kind and compassionate but the challenges that they have faced in their life, and on a specific day, makes them to be otherwise. You, by being kind, can make a big impact in their lives'.(Written by Vijaya Jayaraman)



Article Source: EzineArticles.com



Dick head' was what I thought when I indignantly watched a driver ahead of me at the traffic lights not moving forward when the signal changed to green. As a consequence of this, I and other drivers behind were held up and couldn't get through before the red light came on again. I was judging him, presuming he was lazily letting his attention wander at the junction and so was slow to react.

Yet, I have previously done a similar thing myself. This unfair judging someone we don't even know is probably fairly common. I didn't stop to consider the possibility the driver might have had a problem with the car stalling or perhaps was being distracted by a wasp or a child in the back seat. Who knows?

Image search Huffington Post
Image search Huffington Post


When meeting people, don't most of us have a tendency towards judging them on the basis of the flimsiest of evidence? We may notice for example their clothes and way of speaking, or their facial expressions and as a result make unwarranted assumptions about their social status, attitudes, and character.

If we value non-discrimination and being inclusive, we may wonder why it is so easy to jump to judgment.

Mindfulness meditation recognizes the challenge. Hence, it helps people to see how they can become entangled in the stream of thoughts and feelings that they experience in ways that are not helpful.

"Gradually, we can train ourselves to notice when our thoughts are taking over and realize that thoughts are simply 'mental events' that do not have to control us." (Professor Mark Williams, clinical psychologist).

However, this distancing oneself from emotionally judging things requires much practice.

Three Reasons
I would suggest there are three reasons why it is so hard to stop judging

1 Effect of social culture on judging
The first reason is we cannot avoid the effects of our social culture on us. We have automatic habits of thought that we often don't even notice. The mass media often reinforce these. We are aware of how social stereotypes affect prejudice. But there are other less obvious ones.

The halo effect is one example, when without realising it, we jump to the thought that any attractive individual we meet is more likely to be friendly and cooperative. Likewise, we might see any unattractive person as reserved and unready to lend a hand. Another example is if we automatically suppose that the non-muscular individual is unfit and unathletic. Because such thoughts stay at the fringe of our normal awareness, they are hard to notice let alone eradicate.

The solution is to stop jumping to conclusions on the basis of insufficient information.

2 Judging due to egoism
The second reason why it is so hard to stop making a judgment is to do with the egoistic inclinations of our human nature. Our egoistic mind first approaches people with 'no'. For example, if we think they are of the wrong social class, not the right ethnic group, not one of us. If we can prove that they are bad, it makes us feel good. Blame and accuse another group or person and we feel superior.

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged." (Jesus Christ)

Franciscan friar Richard Rohr points out that when Christ said 'do not judge', he meant we first have to be ready to say 'yes' before we say 'no'. To be inclusive. To suspend judgment. Not to show others are wrong to prove we are right. To give others the benefit of the doubt.

3 Need for rational judgments
I would suggest a third reason we find it so hard to stop making judgments is the inevitable need to use good sense applied to troubling issues.

Here are some examples of the need for reflective judgment between what is good and bad.

- Juries need to exercise fair judgment of guilt or innocence. The verdict hugely affects the reputation of the accused.

- Job interviewers need to judge who are the best applicants without bias. Their correct choice affects the effectiveness of the enterprise.

- Examiners need to exercise academic judgment with due diligence when marking exam papers as results usually affect the student's future career.

- As citizens of a democratic society we are asked to vote for a government. Consequently, we will want to exercise our political judgment to choose the best one for the needs of the country.

- Parents need moral judgment to decide what to teach children about right and wrong.

- As private individuals we need to find some meaningful sense of the chaos and uncertainties that surround us. So, we use our rationality as well as our feelings to discern what is right and good in life. What values to hold dear in which to put our hope.

Getting a balance between head and heart
People have been - to my mind - rightly put off the idea of judgment by the all or nothing ways of thinking found in some of the orthodox teachings of Christianity.

You are saved or not, a believer or not, a sinner or not, deserving of punishment in hell or reward in heaven. There is also the old idea that a harsh deity causes human suffering by seeking revenge on the original sin of Adam in the garden of Eden. I believe this is understandably seen as nonsense these days.

Some feel that life just doesn't make any rational sense - suffering, chaos, disaster. They can't make head or tail of it. One result has been a loss of expectation in the western world 'post-modern culture ' that there is anyone rational truth about life.

Consequently, each person's understanding is seen as valid as everyone else's. I suspect this is one reason why there has been a growth in interest in mystical writing, mindfulness meditation, compassion-focused training, or new age writing - all movements that emphasize personal experience rather than an intellectual framework of ideas about objective reality. Ideas that require our discernment and evaluation.

What concerns me is not the growth of such movements which are very important for spiritual development but rather some individual adherents of them who do not try to find some rational sense out of the mystery of life.

My guess is this results from confusing an attempt at making a rational judgment (which is good) with quick judgmental reactions (which is bad). "Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly." (Jesus Christ)  (Written by Stephen Russell-Lacy)



Article Source: EzineArticles.com




Rasanya luar biasa menjawab pertanyaan anak-anak Anda tentang virus corona ketika Anda sendiri tidak yakin. Pakar kami menawarkan tip untuk membantu Anda dan keluarga mengelola.

“Apakah saya akan berulang tahun tahun ini?” Pertanyaan putri saya yang berusia sepuluh tahun mengejutkan saya. “Tentu saja kamu mau. Ulang tahun selalu terjadi setiap tahun, apa pun yang terjadi, ”jawab saya. "Yah, aku tahu aku akan berusia 11 tahun, tapi maksudku, akankah aku melakukan sesuatu yang menyenangkan tahun ini? Dengan teman-temanku? Atau akankah ini pesta Zoom lain? ” 

Sumber gambar dari Reader Digest


Ah. Virus korona killjoy menyerang lagi. Selama beberapa bulan terakhir, putri saya telah menyaksikan saudara laki-lakinya merayakan ulang tahun, kelulusan seorang saudara laki-laki, pemakaman seorang teman, dan acara baby shower seorang kerabat — semuanya online, untuk tujuan menjaga jarak. Tidak heran dia sudah memikirkan tentang ulang tahunnya di musim gugur dan bertanya-tanya apa yang akan terjadi.

“Saya tidak yakin, kita harus menunggu dan melihat apa yang virus lakukan di musim gugur,” akhirnya saya berkata.

Dia menangis. Dia bukan anak kecil yang mudah menangis, tapi kali ini semburan patah hati membanjiri. Ini dia, hal yang akhirnya membuatnya tersentak? Bagi saya, itu hanya satu perayaan lagi yang harus dibatalkan secara efektif karena pandemi COVID-19, tetapi ketika dia terisak betapa 11 adalah nomor favoritnya, saya menyadari bahwa ini sangat berarti baginya. Itu merangkum semua yang salah dan berapa banyak yang telah berubah selama setahun terakhir.

Apa yang dipikirkan anak-anak selama virus corona
Orang tua melakukan percakapan serupa di seluruh dunia, kata Sanam Hafeez, seorang ahli saraf yang mengkhususkan diri dalam perkembangan anak dan anggota fakultas Universitas Columbia di New York City.

“Meskipun anak-anak bisa sangat jeli dan memahami apa yang terjadi, mereka belum memiliki pengalaman hidup yang diperlukan untuk memahami apa yang sedang terjadi, seperti yang dilakukan orang dewasa,” katanya. “Mudah bagi mereka untuk salah menafsirkan situasi atau menjadi ketakutan ketika mereka tidak memiliki cukup informasi tentangnya, itulah mengapa sangat penting bagi orang tua untuk membicarakan pandemi virus corona dengan anak-anak mereka.”

“Otak anak bekerja secara berbeda dari otak orang dewasa,” kata Robert Hamilton, MD, seorang dokter anak di Pusat Kesehatan Providence Saint John di Santa Monica, California, pendiri badan amal Lighthouse Medical Missions, penulis 7 Secrets of The Newborn, dan pembawa acara podcast The Hamilton Review: Where Kids and Culture Collide. Ini adalah beberapa cara seorang terapis tetap waras selama demam virus Corona.

Anak-anak muda
Misalnya, anak kecil (sekitar 10 tahun atau lebih muda) adalah pemikir yang sangat konkret sehingga Anda harus jelas dan tidak membicarakan masalah tersebut, berharap mereka mengerti apa yang Anda maksud, jelas Dr. Hamilton.

Mereka juga kesulitan memahami waktu, jadi membicarakan tentang apa yang terjadi di masa lalu atau yang mungkin terjadi di masa depan mungkin tidak masuk akal bagi mereka. Namun mungkin perbedaan terbesar adalah bahwa anak-anak kecil mempercayai semua yang Anda katakan kepada mereka, jadi sangat penting untuk memberi mereka jawaban yang akurat dan sesuai usia untuk pertanyaan mereka, katanya.

Anak-anak yang lebih tua
Bahkan remaja dan remaja, yang tampaknya memiliki pemahaman orang dewasa tentang informasi tersebut, tidak memprosesnya seperti orang dewasa, katanya.

“Hormon pubertas bisa membuat mereka lebih emosional atau menarik diri. Otak mereka tidak selesai berkembang sampai sekitar 25 tahun, ”katanya. “Anda harus terbuka, jujur, dan terus terang dengan anak-anak dari segala usia. Ini bukan waktunya untuk sarkasme atau hiperbola. " Inilah 12 misteri virus corona yang masih belum bisa dijelaskan.

Cara berbicara dengan anak Anda tentang COVID-19
Melakukan percakapan tentang virus dan segala sesuatu yang menyertainya, seperti gejala virus corona, adalah awal yang baik. Namun, ada hal-hal yang dapat Anda lakukan untuk memastikan anak-anak Anda mendapatkan informasi dan dukungan yang mereka butuhkan, kata Dr. Hamilton.

Biarkan anak-anak Anda memimpin diskusi
Membiarkan mereka berbicara dan mengajukan pertanyaan akan membantu mereka merasa didengarkan dan akan membantu Anda melihat di mana mereka berada, kata Hafeez. “COVID-19, kuman, dan penyakit mungkin sesuatu yang tidak diketahui anak Anda, jadi Anda mungkin perlu memulai dari dasar,” katanya.

Jaga agar sesuai dengan usia
Anda tidak ingin membanjiri mereka dengan informasi yang tidak mereka inginkan atau tidak dapat proses. Sebagai orang tua mereka, Anda paling tahu apa yang mereka butuhkan. “Setiap anak berbeda, jadi sesuaikan percakapan Anda dengan tingkat perkembangan dan kebutuhan anak Anda,” katanya.
Jangan takut

Anak-anak akan mencerminkan emosi orang tua mereka jadi jika Anda datang ke dalam percakapan dengan cemas dan takut, mereka juga akan merasakannya, terlepas dari kata-kata yang Anda ucapkan, kata Dr. Hamilton. "Jika Anda memiliki banyak kekhawatiran atau kesal, cari orang dewasa lain untuk diajak bicara, bukan anak Anda," katanya, menambahkan untuk berhati-hati dengan apa yang mereka dengar juga.

Gunakan sentuhan fisik
Jenis dan jumlah sentuhan yang disukai anak Anda akan bergantung pada usia kepribadian mereka, tetapi secara umum, anak Anda berkembang dengan sentuhan fisik, terutama dari Anda, kata Dr. Hamilton. "Pelukan, pelukan, tepukan di lengan semua bisa sangat menghibur dan meyakinkan saat Anda berdiskusi," katanya. Ini adalah korona

Lakukan percakapan lebih dari sekali
“Anda harus mendiskusikan COVID-19 dan masalah terkait lainnya dengan anak Anda kapan pun mereka memiliki pertanyaan. Kemungkinannya, anak Anda akan memiliki banyak pertanyaan, jadi bersiaplah untuk menjawabnya secara terbuka dan jujur, ”kata Hafeez. Periksa secara berkala dengan anak Anda untuk melihat bagaimana perasaan mereka dan apakah mereka memiliki pertanyaan lagi, tambahnya

Bagaimana menjawab pertanyaan anak-anak umum tentang COVID-19
Merasa sedikit kewalahan? Pandemi ini tidak mudah terjadi pada siapa pun, termasuk orang tua, dan kebanyakan dari kita bukan ahli dalam perkembangan anak atau terapi krisis.

Untuk membantu Anda, saya telah meminta pakar kami untuk memberi Anda skrip untuk menjawab pertanyaan umum yang diajukan anak-anak saat ini. Kami telah memecahnya menjadi apa yang harus dikatakan kepada anak-anak (usia dasar), dan apa yang harus dikatakan kepada remaja dan remaja. Dan pastikan Anda sendiri mendapatkan informasi terbaru tentang COVID-19: Ini adalah 6 tempat di mana Anda paling mungkin tertular virus corona.

Apakah saya akan mati?
Bahkan jika anak-anak tidak langsung mengungkapkannya dan mengatakannya, kemungkinan mereka memikirkan tentang kematian dengan cara yang baru dan pribadi, kata Dr. Hamilton.

Untuk anak-anak: “Anak-anak hampir tidak pernah mati karena penyakit ini, kamu akan baik-baik saja dan saya di sini untuk menjagamu.”

Untuk anak-anak yang lebih besar: “Semua orang sakit dari waktu ke waktu, tetapi mari kita lihat angka-angka untuk kelompok usia Anda bersama-sama. Ini sangat jarang terjadi pada remaja tetapi jika Anda kebetulan mendapatkannya, saya akan menjagamu dan begitu juga para dokter dan perawat. "

Bagaimana jika Anda sakit?
Khawatir tentang orang tua dan kakek nenek adalah hal yang sangat wajar bagi anak-anak, karena hal itu tidak hanya memengaruhi orang yang mereka cintai tetapi juga yang akan merawat mereka, kata Hafeez.

Untuk anak-anak kecil: "Saya sudah dewasa dan Anda tidak perlu khawatir untuk merawat saya. Jika saya sakit, saya akan baik-baik saja meskipun saya mungkin harus berbaring di tempat tidur sebentar. ”

Untuk anak-anak yang lebih besar: "Saya sudah dewasa dan Anda tidak perlu khawatir untuk merawat saya. Tapi mari kita buat rencana apa yang harus dilakukan jika saya sakit. Saya mungkin tidak akan mendapatkan kasus yang sangat buruk, tetapi berikut adalah daftar orang yang dapat Anda hubungi untuk meminta bantuan, termasuk dokter dan kerabat terdekat. " Ini adalah 11 tanda Anda mungkin sudah terjangkit virus.

Mengapa saya tidak bisa melihat nenek? Bagaimana jika dia meninggal?
Faktanya adalah bahwa orang tua memiliki risiko komplikasi COVID-19 yang jauh lebih tinggi dan kematian akibat penyakit tersebut dan Anda tidak boleh menyembunyikan fakta ini dari anak-anak Anda, terutama karena hal itu dapat membantu mereka memahami mengapa kami memakai masker dan mempraktikkan jarak sosial, Kata Hafeez.

Untuk anak kecil: "Kami perlu melindungi kakek nenek Anda, artinya kami tidak dapat mengunjungi mereka untuk sementara waktu. Jika nenek atau kakek sakit, bukan berarti mereka akan mati. Tapi, jika mereka melakukannya, maka itu akan menjadi hari yang sangat sulit dan menyedihkan bagi semua orang tapi keluarga akan baik-baik saja dan kita akan melewatinya bersama. "

Untuk anak-anak yang lebih besar: “Nenek menderita diabetes yang membuatnya berisiko lebih tinggi, itulah sebabnya kami sangat berhati-hati untuk melindunginya. Namun, setiap orang terkadang meninggal dan itu akan menjadi sesuatu yang harus kami tangani bersama sebagai sebuah keluarga. Mengapa kita tidak menulis surat kepada nenek untuk menceritakan beberapa kenangan favorit Anda atau melakukan panggilan video dengannya? ”

Apakah kembali ke sekolah berbahaya?
Perdebatan tentang kembali ke sekolah secara langsung atau belajar dari jarak jauh sangat panas saat ini dan anak-anak pasti telah menangkap kecemasan itu, kata Dr. Hamilton.

Untuk anak kecil: "Anda tidak perlu takut. Anda dapat mempercayai guru Anda dan kami untuk membuat keputusan terbaik untuk membuat Anda tetap aman dan membantu Anda belajar. ”

Untuk anak yang lebih besar: “Ya, sekolah sangat tidak pasti saat ini dan mungkin ada banyak perubahan selama tahun ajaran. Apa sebenarnya yang Anda khawatirkan? Berikut beberapa hal yang dapat kami jaga agar tetap normal dan berikut beberapa cara yang dapat kami sesuaikan jika perlu. Tahun ini mungkin akan menjadi tahun yang sulit tetapi pandemi tidak akan berlangsung selamanya. ”

Apakah saya benar-benar harus memakai masker wajah?
Pemakaian masker wajah dan praktik menjaga jarak adalah perubahan besar bagi anak-anak dari segala usia dan masuk akal jika banyak yang menolak atau mencari lebih banyak informasi, kata Dr. Hamilton.

Untuk anak-anak kecil: “Ya, ini tidak menyenangkan, tetapi ini adalah sesuatu yang perlu kami lakukan untuk membantu menjaga semua orang tetap aman dan sehat. Ini seperti memakai sabuk pengaman atau jaket pelampung. Ayo buat game untuk melihat siapa yang bisa memakai topengnya paling lama tanpa menyentuhnya. "

Untuk anak-anak yang lebih besar: “Aturannya sekarang adalah bahwa ini adalah sesuatu yang setiap orang perlu lakukan setiap kali mereka berada di depan umum, meskipun itu tidak sepenuhnya nyaman.

Jika setiap orang memakai masker, itu dapat mengurangi penularan virus ke tingkat yang sangat rendah. Anda mungkin tidak merasa sakit, tetapi anak-anak seusia Anda dapat membawa virus dan menyebarkannya kepada orang lain tanpa menyadarinya, jadi lebih baik aman. ” Berbagi 11 fakta yang membuka mata ini yang akan meyakinkan Anda untuk memakai masker juga merupakan ide yang bagus.

Apa yang tidak bisa saya berhenti khawatirkan tentang ini?

Tingkat kecemasan untuk semua orang, termasuk anak-anak, dan itu akan membantu mereka mengelola ketakutan mereka lebih banyak jika mereka bisa membicarakannya, kata Hafeez.Untuk anak-anak kecil: “Wajar untuk mengkhawatirkan hal-hal ini. Jika kamu merasa takut atau mengalami mimpi buruk, temui aku dan kita bisa berpelukan. ” (Charlotte Hilton Andersen)



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